am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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