Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
