Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
