let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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