Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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