We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just invented taco cereal.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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