you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he fucked my hip out of place.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
