We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I have post one night stand depression
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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