So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
