I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
