what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize