Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
