Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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