I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
