this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize