Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize