it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
