Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
