I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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