I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
