Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you didnt know i had herpes?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
