some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
