absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
