I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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