oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I think your dad took our porno
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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