Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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