2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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