12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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