Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
