Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
