Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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