can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
