I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
