dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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