oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
