mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
