if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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