the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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