remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
handjob tips. give me some.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Randomize
