Dual....:-)
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
