how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
