we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I believe in your delicious
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
