idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
