Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
