it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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