Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
