The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
