Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
