I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
