that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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