that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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