i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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