the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
