The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
