Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
