I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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