Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
