You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
