If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
