every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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