I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So much rum. So many feels.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I think people are normalizing furries
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
