I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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