glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
