Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
