sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
